I would wake up each morning. Calm, serene, then the pain would set in. I�d remember that he was not there. I would feel nothing but pain. Raw pain. That�s all there was. He was happy, moved on, with someone else. He betrayed me, yet all I wanted to do was curl up in his arms and cry away everything that led to us falling apart.
//
We were in a car. I was crying like I�d never cried before. It was another stolen goodbye. I all but dragged him out to be there with me for even a few seconds longer with him. Trying hopelessly to understand why things changed from one extreme to the other at the drop of a hat. He took me in his arms and sang to me Three Little Birds, �Don�t worry about a things, �cause every little thing is gonna be alright.�
//
It hasn�t been alright since then. I�m not over it. A year and a half later and these wounds still ache. They still keep me up tonight.
A year and a half ago I was beautiful. Strong bodied, with soft long-flowing hair, I never cried. I never had anything to cry over. I was not afraid. Of anything. My heart was strong and sure of everything I felt. Still, I wasn�t something he wanted. So I walked away from it. My love broken into pieces, my heart barely beating.
Now, I'm afraid of everything. I cry all the time. I'm so unsure of every step, I find myself tripping every day. Why would anyone want me now? Why would anyone want me down the road?
10:56 p.m. - 2010-05-13
Recent entries:
Hello, Old Friend - 2017-02-13
Heads or Tails - 2011-01-21
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They've taken a toll, these latter days - 2010-11-16
Written in the Winter of 2009 - 2010-09-19
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